Today I received the following information: I have a 3.8 cm cyst by one of my ovaries. Most likely an endometrioma due to endometriosis and my uterine lining growing freely outside of it's realm....I have always been a bit of a rebel so I can't get mad at my uterine lining🤷♀️. I have to get a contrast MRI to confirm what the growth is. Then I was told it will most likely need to be removed.🙎♀️
I have lots of feels. One which is a huge thank you to myself for going to theobgyn and a huge thank you for her ordering the ultrasound. I finally know what the debilitating pain is from- so grateful to be able to take steps to healing.🙆♀️
Other feelings revolve around fear- Omg my 1st surgery ever will be in the middle of a pandemic in the state with the 2nd highest confirmed cases. Omg I live alone and who the fuck is going to take me for surgery. Omg what if it's something worse😳
So instead of stewing in those things- I spoke to family and friends. I went for a walk. I breathed and moved. I sang and beboped down the streets in my town. I smiled at others who I saw. I carried curiosity about getting to see what my lady parts look like on the inside as I will get to see soon on an MRI. I am also curious about what this endeavor that I am embarking on is going to teach me. So far it has taught me that I am in tune with the signals my body sends me. Also gratitude- for the medical peeps who understand the stuff that I don't, for the support system of beautiful humans around me, and for the connection I have to my Highest Self. Lastly, I am grateful for yoga which has allowed me to cultivate the ability to sit in this discomfort with an open heart- knowing that there is a divine plan in play here that I can't quite grasp/understand at the moment- but that's ok.💜#ladypartproblems