Updated: Mar 3
Hello my name is Veronica. I'm 40 years old. I was told in my 20's by a dermatologist my thinning hair was genetic. Through research on my own I figured out the label- I have androgenic alopecia. It is what it is.
Also- I have been thinking about eventually shaving my head, rocking wigs along with the bald look. Don't be surprised when it happens.
Why? Because I am tired of watching my hair slowly go down the drain. Literally each time I lose hair it comes back thinner. I'm gradually loosing it over time. There is nothing to be done except watch it happen. Currently I mainly don't wear fake hair but my bio hair is the thinnest it's ever been and it just looks sad to me.
Left side- the top of my head taken a week ago.
Right side- today with a topper. This topper is the closest I have found to what my natural hair would look like if I it didn't slowly begin to fade away. But toppers clip in and my bio hair isn't the strongest so that's why I also play with wigs. I've been known more recently to show up to places or to post pictures rocking fake hair when I am experimenting. To keep the experience enlightening- I started to have fun with it and talk about it. This is the first time I've shown the top of my head in this way which is scary.
Having this happen has been like a quiet hell where no one says anything. I've had friends who don't know what to say to me about it or unknowingly/out of love have denied my reality- which is quite visible to the eye and made me question what I could so clearly see happening. This experience comes with a lot of emotions which stem from being in a society with beauty standards for women. Hair is a big thing...to be losing it is a big thing.
Why am I sharing this? Because maybe there is a girl somewhere who needs to read something like this and she will come across it. I know going through this I have spent a lot of time looking up #hairloss #femalehairloss #wigs #toppers #alopecea #androgenicalopecea #baldwomen #fakehairdontcare to feel less alone. I know I there are women out there like me and I have been inspired by them on social media.
How else do I handle it? I focus on connecting with Spirit, loving myself for all that I am and having fun with a physical world "problem"- a thing which is out of my control. Yoga philosophy teaches that the physical world is literally out of our control and when we wish it to be different it creates suffering. I cannot deny my hair loss, I must embrace and accept it. I know that I am more than the hair on my head.
We all have something that makes us feel "lesser than" in some way...but it doesn't need to stay that way forever. Luckily for me yoga has taught me how to sit with discomfort and to release my illusion of control reigns on life bit by bit. This life is meant to be joyful. Letting go of attachments assists with finding true freedom. Challenges that show up are meant to wake us up to what truly matters and to show us where we are stuck. What a gift it would be if each of us learned how to embrace ourselves in all of our own uniqueness without judgment and instead full of playfulness, curiosity, truth and wisdom- free from fear to show up as we are. As Ram Dass said- "use each and every single challenge in your life as the grist for the mill of your awakening." Then from there play your unique part in the movement forward. We have no time to go backwards, only ahead. Face your fears then wave them goodbye. The only way to move through is by bringing all the darkness into the light.
We all have our own stuff that we struggle with. We make it through by sharing, holding space, releasing judgment, spreading compassion and supporting one another. I trust this to find whoever it's meant to. ✨
Thank you for listening.